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Brookline Girl
written 11-7-99

Gets off the train
 	Itís okay
But itís the same apartment
	That it was yesterday

She flips on
	The TV
And she eats all alone
	With it for company

Lifeís pretty tough
For a Brookline girl
Trying to make it by herself
In this big, cruel world
Sheís running fast
But sheís running all alone
Trying to find a place
Inside she can call home

Well he ran away
	Ten months ago
Said theyíd be friends
	But that was just for show

Still she remembers
	His face
Even though heís gone
	He still wonít leave this place

Lifeís pretty tough
For a Brookline girl
Trying to make it by herself
In this big, cruel world
Sheís running fast
But sheís running all alone
Trying to find a place
Inside she can call home

She makes it by on the comfort of friends
Her Mom calls her up from Detox again
She wanders through the city, alone in the rain
Wonders if she can make it and still stay sane

So she takes
	A college course
Trying to better herself
	So she wonít get worse

And she smiles
	At the mirror
The once-muddy life
	Is becoming clearer

Lifeís pretty tough
	But thatís all right
She knows that sheís 
	Pretty tough inside

Lifeís pretty tough
For a Brookline girl
Trying to make it by herself
In this big, cruel world
Sheís running fast
But sheís running all alone
Trying to find a place
Inside she can call home

Fantasies of a Maniac

No face: swatches in silhouette
eyes peering from the darkness of an alleyway
alit in the soft glow
of the arc-sodium streetlights above
there is a small noise from behing
he sees the helpless wreck of
a dog
shivering and dripping with rainwater
of a previous storm
he sees
but does not
he seems to notice a snarl and
a carnivorous look in its eyes
and its claws are razors
arenít they?
Are they?
So from within his trenchcoat he brings
the cleaver
its blade so clean
he approaches the dog
and the dog stands its ground
is it growling or whimpering
no matter
with one swift maneuver
the dog is Gone
in a lake of maroon
looking down
he seems to recall
the pretty young girl he had seen
by the side of the road
shaking and scared
thumb jutting out to catch the attention
of passing automobiles
he had allowed her into the passenger seat
of his depressing beige Buick
he had allowed her to smoke her cigarette
its glow in the darkness jumping and quivering
and when she had tossed it out the window
he had stopped
she had no face at the end
he had sent her into the storm
he can not remember the others
All of the others; so many
He stands for awhile and begins to walk
from the alley
under the arc-sodiums

The Fast Food Highways of America

The Fast-Food Highways of America: 
my country tis of thee
I give my soul to the Golden Arches
living within Dairy Queens
       and Burger Kings
aching, killing
    lovely lovely French fries
and the rocketís red glare
strawberry shakes and the
  hot tar of summer
bless me, hamburger
and praise be to that
pigtailed girl we all know as
shops and stops
eating eating I canít stop eating
Subway and Arbyís and Hardeeís
          and more
spill onto the floor in
a waste
I can taste
the element of disgrace
and my face 
opens up
like a maw
in the floor
thereís a door
I explore
I am an apple-pie
and I canít stop canít
stop stop stop stop
but it smells so 
good the hot greasy
food and Iíd stop if
I could but I canít
and why should I
itís not as if Iím
obese at the least
I am pudgy I canít
help but wonder
as I drag myself under
if chocolate
or vanilla
or coffee
or what
I want to believe
or get some reprieve
from this gnawing
unearthly need
I canít stop
I canít stop
and I donít know if
I want to

The King of Delight

I am the king of delight
I am all bark and no bite
if you come over
youíll see Iím red rover
and Iíll thrill you and fill all your night

I am the king of despair
unlike most, I havenít a care
but you set me free
come on and see me
and Iíll thrill you with peppermints there

I am the king of deceit
toll it up and get a receipt
after I thrill you
why, Iíll have to kill you
gorry, now wonít that be neat?


   when we would run through the woods
   the thickets in the night
   youíd laugh and Iíd catch you
   weíd make love under the stars

You seem to be slipping away now
come back to me
I didnít mean to hurt you this way
donít cry, please donít cry

   the moon shone down
   and your hair like spun silver
   upon the pillow of the earth
   and your light breath tickling my neck

Your breath isnít light now
youíre crying too hard
stay with me
please donít yell, donít yell

   nights at home
   Iíd build in the basement
   youíd sing in the shower
   weíd talk of our day

Iíve finished the basement now
do you like it?
I made it myself out of
wood and steel
yes, this is real

But remember:
   remember, for Godís sake:
	how weíd sing and weíd dance
	how weíd go to shows
	how weíd work and play
	now, where are those moments
	where are those times
	who can say, who can say?

God, I need you so much
I need every part of you
but you donít, you donít
if youíd just stop screaming
  Iíd stop cutting things off

Stop; remember
  the thickets of night
  in that long-ago dream
  remember the Holy Day
  when your Father
  gave you away
  he gave you me
  why canít you see
  that the parts of your whole
  are now mine to control

Okay, donít:
   please, youíre fading again
I know it hurts
 I know what hurt is
come back to me
come on come on
there you go
        there you are
your eyes are glassy 
        so far away

  remember with me
  I love you I love you
  long drives
  we once had a dog
   but he had no name
   so we called him Dog
  remember that?
wake up bitch!
wake up you numb bitch and
  remember with me

Yes it hurts, so youíve said
  I can do worse
maybe you shouldnít 
  have tried to deceive me
  tried to love others
  how many
  just one?
  did you even consider
  my feelings in this?
  did you ever think 
  youíd be
       fellating a gun
oh come on now
    remember the good times we had
    letís not dwell on the past
    letís not think of the bad
    letís fervently hold to the dreams of
          the young
    letís look back
shut up or Iíll cut out your tongue
  letís drift back in time
  when our love was so new
  back before I had to
  demoralize you
please donít cry
please donít cry
no, I wonít let you die
letís remember
letís think back
  those summer night skies
  those nights in July
stop, youíre gagging again

I love you I do
I need you with me
remember, remember
so young and so free
remember the cruises
    the candy the films
    the love and the joy
    the flowers and fur
    remember, no come back!
    no donít die, donít leave
No, remember
   no wait,
               Oh God
                             youíre not her